Who am I?

Lately I have been going through some personal junk where I think I have been less respectful of God and his authority over me and of what He has done for me.

This morning I stop to think of who am I in relation to God?

1. I ask first why did God ever chose me to come to Him? There is nothing beautiful or special about me. I have not done anything great for His kingdom. I still struggle to think of how I fit into His plan. 
2. Why do I argue back at God, or question His goodness? Is it not enough that He sent Jesus to die for me? Oh, you should see me brag when things are going good of how it is enough that God sent His Son to die for me ... but in reality ... I am more like the rude prodigal son demanding his inheritance now. 
3. Why do I question if God loves me? You would think that by now this would be a done deal, set in stone and a permanent etching of my emotional psyche. But noooo! I still go through the swings where I wonder if God still loves me. I hate emotions ... good thing I have logic to fall back on. Ho! I am beginning to sound Vulcan. I wonder if my blood has started turning green?
4. Why in the world can I not get any measure of discipline established in my life spiritually? Is it hard or something? Has God asked the impossible? When I do start reading God's word and praying and singing; why does it seem like hard work rather than a joyous visit with a dear friend? 

Lord, I do love You. I love Your word, the way in which You are working and have been working in my life. Yes, I get it wrong most all of the time and why You are patient with me goes beyond my understanding. But that is fantastic. You are just too wonderful for expression.